Dissociation: An Invitation, Not an Obstacle

In many therapeutic conversations, dissociation is framed as something to overcome, as a barrier to “real work.” Yet what if dissociation is not a detour, but part of the road itself? What if, rather than pushing past it, we pause, turn toward it, and learn to listen?

Dissociation is, at its heart, a survival response. It emerges when overwhelm floods the nervous system and support is unavailable. In those moments, our body and psyche collaborate to do the only thing they can—step away from the unbearable. It is not a failure. It is brilliance. It is the nervous system’s way of saying: I will help you endure.

The challenge is that what once protected us can become a silent prison. Memories, sensations, and emotions can be stored at different levels of the autonomic nervous system, held outside ordinary awareness. Dissociation may look like distance, absence, or numbness—but beneath it is the story of pain that had nowhere to go.

In therapy, we are invited to move gently with dissociation, not against it. Somatic therapy can support us to “get to know” dissociative states, approaching them as living parts of our client’s system—loyal protectors who deserve respect, patience, and curiosity. This might mean slowing down, cultivating co-regulation, and creating enough safety that the frozen or fragmented parts begin to trust that they no longer have to carry everything alone.

The work is less about dismantling dissociation than about widening the window of experience. Together, therapist and client learn to travel between states—honouring the protective freeze, dipping into the activation beneath it, and finding pathways back to calm. Over time, the relationship itself becomes the bridge: a steady presence that reassures the dissociated self it is no longer alone.

When seen in this way, dissociation is not the enemy of therapy. It is the hidden doorway. It carries within it the wisdom of survival and the possibility of integration. By turning toward it with compassion and skill, we help our clients reclaim the fragments of themselves once exiled to keep life bearable.

And perhaps most profoundly, we remember: even in absence, there is presence. Even in dissociation, there is connection waiting to be restored.